Mastering the Art of Listening
Listening is not a passive form of activity or communication. It is the most valued aspect of communication, yet undervalued and the core weakness of many individuals. Mastering the art of active listening is not solely a requirement for (aspiring) leaders. It is a skill that everyone needs to develop — to listen more than they speak.
There are three categories or ways of listening:
- The spoken words — paying attention to the literal meaning of the words uttered.
- The unspoken cues — paying attention and discerning the meaning of the nonverbal cues, such as body language, tone of voice, and mannerisms.
- The context and atmosphere — all factors considered, and how those factors may influence the communication.
Active listening is not merely allowing words to enter your mind without filtering their value. You must actively engage and moderate the conversation to provide structure and maintain composure. Provide intermittent cues to the speaker that you follow along by maintaining eye contact, avoiding distractions, and using respectful facial expressions or nods can signify your understanding and attentiveness. Ask questions to re-align thoughts or seek clarifications, and conclude by summarizing to the speaker how you understood the message so that both parties gain value from the exchange.
Emotions sometimes hinder effective speaking and listening. Rather than focusing on the perceived unwelcoming mannerisms of the speaker or speech, focus on the message and the underlying feelings/personality.
One common challenge in active listening is the temptation to interrupt the speaker, especially when you feel you have better ideas, experience frustration, or have an innate desire to respond immediately. Try to be as patient as possible, and continually examine your actions and motives to become a better listener.
A leader who excels in active listening would achieve more with less effort, while an aspiring leader who cultivates this skill will be better equipped to serve as a guardian and solution provider.
